Four quadrants to a happy life:

• Having enough money
• Having very strong relationships
• Having physical and mental wellness
• Having a strong sense of purpose

Think of success like a table made of the 4 quadrants above. All of these quadrants – legs, need to be present in order for the table to be stable. If one of them has an issue, the table collapses.

• The above doesn’t mean that rich are miserable and the poor are happy. It means that we need to be thoughtful about our priorities in life and we shouldn’t succumb unthoughtfully to the conventional societal wisdom around us which prioritizes one leg( eg: money) over another
• Time is the only non-renewable resource you have
• The overarching theme of this book is this : when you choose to buy something, live somewhere, accept a job, start by asking “why…?” then focus on your core values and learn how behavioral science might help boost your life satisfaction
• We value life experiences over stuff. When you sit around a campfire and tell stories, these stories are generally of experiences not things you buy. Even when you want to talk about something you bought, you describe the experience associated with buying it or using it
• We live in a culture of upgrades: we upgrade materials we have but we should ask ourselves whether the upgrade would allow us to do something we couldn’t do before. Think of the opportunity cost that comes with that purchase too: are you sacrificing time for money when it should be the other way around as time is the ultimate non-renewable resource you have
• To test if a new purchase will boost your happiness or well-being, see if it will create experiences you wouldn’t otherwise have. And also determine how often you’ll be using it. For example: if you’ll only be using a boat for two weeks a year, rent one instead.
• When you’re buying a high-status item, ask yourself if you’d buy if no one else other than you would ever see it.
• Instead of spending money on buying things, spend it on experiences: take up dancing, guitar, or cooking lessons. Travel somewhere and learn a foreign language. Or save enough money to take time away from work.
• Singles might think that buying flashy stuff will bode well with potential mates. This is not necessarily true. Unwise spending would raise alarm bells in the eyes of those who look below the surface.
  Spending these days is not necessary an “honest” signal of financial resources. The tendency to save might tell a prospective mate “this person has self-control: which could help them stay fit and healthy, commit to their promises and keep their temper under control.
• Summary of chapter 1:
  • Consider buying something only if it allows you to have experiences you wouldn’t otherwise have – eg: makes time with your friends and family better.
  • Careful with the slippery slope of falling into the habit of upgrading stuff. Only upgrade when the current item no longer works or the new item will make possible regular experiences with friends that you otherwise couldn’t enjoy
  • Ask yourself if you’d buy someting if nobody else could see it
• Author tells a story of a consistently happy 74 year old man. The man sleeps in the passenger seat of his 2014 Subaru Outback. He spends about 600 dollars on insurance, gas and food. Makes 500 in pension and 1100 from annuity. His four-legged table is strong and sturdy: enough money (based on his standards), enjoys amazing health – exercises and walks a lot, great relationships – his friends enjoy spending time with him, and has a strong sense of purpose – he helps the homeless and enjoys spending time in nature.
• Our sense of how well we are doing, and how much we’ll need financially is determined by how well others around us are doing – neighbors, friends and family. Even if we resist the temptation to compare ourselves to others, we’re still susceptible to that on a subconscious level.
  • Fallling prey to peer-pressure spending can have detrimental health consequences
• “Remember, time is the only nonrenewable resource we have. That’s why we should treasure it. If we choose to work at a job we hate because it pays a lot of money, we’re trading something precious for something that won’t necessarily improve our lives. If we want to maximize our health and happiness, that’s worth remembering”
• “Close relationships—far more than money—are the single greatest influence on a happy life. In fact, personal relationships are better predictors of happiness, health, and longevity than social class, IQ , or even genetics.”
• Prioritize spending time on relationships with family and friends. And dedicate time on things that bring people together. It is healthy and leads to less regrets.
• Top 5 regrets of people in palliative care -all relationship based:
  • They wish that they lived true to their values, not the way other people expected them too
  • They wish that they had stayed in touch with old friends
  • They wish they’d work not as hard
  • They wish that they had the courage to express their feelings
  • They wish they had let themselves be happier, instead of falling into boring routines.
• In general, people’s levels of happiness have two peaks: in their early twenties and then in their fifties. In their early twenties when they feel they can take on the world. This feeling quickly peaks as reality sets in: work, debt, family,etc. In our 30s and 40s, we’re busy trying to make the most out of our careers and might succumb to the school of thought that says that the more money we make, the nicer the home we own, the more we’re gonna be happy.
  In our 50s, our levels of happiness peak again because we start caring less what people think and we focus on what really makes us happy: we have a smaller social circle as we focus on those whom we have deep connections with, cut out those we don’t enjoy hanging out with, and just care less overall about what people say/think about us.
• Spend more time with those you love and respect
• Go narrow and deep in your relationships (a few good friends) not broad and shallow
• be true to yourself as a person. Do not chase a status or a lifestyle others expect it from you
• Limit the time you spend on social media. Your life satisfaction and health will benefit.
• Support and participate in activities that promote social and/or community interactions.
• Be kind and generous with other people. If possible, make it a prosocial experience.
• Your life is like an opaque hourglass: it gets tipped at birth, and nobody knows how much time they have left. This is why it’s important to live with the knowledge that every day is precious.
• Spending more and being saddled with debt doesn’t make us happier. In fact, even if we can afford spending money lavishly and on fancy things and without debt, it won’t make us happier. Do not envy those who drive flashy cars and live a life of luxury: they might be living life on edge financially.
• When you want to buy a car or a home, you don’t want to think in terms of just being able to afford the monthly payments. Ask yourself if you can afford the car outright, or if you can afford mortgage payments and all of your ongoing expenses for at least 6months if you lose your job.
• Tips for gratitude journalling:
  • Make a conscious effort to feel gratitude. Journaling works best for those who are mindful of their intent to improve their happiness
  • Go narrow and deep: focus on one thing and explain why you’re grateful for it rather than listing many things
  • Be grateful for people rather than things
  • Write about how your life would be like without certain things
  • Record happy events that were surprising or unexpected
  • Write in your gratitude journal once or twice a week
• Material acquisitions do not boost life satisfaction unless they provide a novel experience or bring our loved ones together. Otherwise the more materialistic we are, the less happy we are. We also shouldn’t be envious of people with higher income who exhibit expensive tastes. After all, they aren’t necessarily happier.
• You can afford spending in a certain area of life at a level that seems like a luxury as long you ruthlessly cut costs in other areas.
• Unless you earn a 7-figure income and able to save a huge sum of money, you have tradeoffs to make: maybe you can enjoy a 150/week message – and be okay with the massive opportunity/cost that comes with it over time, but your income won’t be enough to enjoy massages, five-star holidays, new car, and weekly meals out, and a fancy wardrobe.
• Any money you spend, including money that you spend habitually can be a million+ dollar habit over time. You want to be cognizant that when you spend money on a service or premium product, that you’re getting the full benefit of that spending.
  Ex: Assume that you spend 5.5 on a gourmet coffee that you drink while you’re driving at work. Alternative would be to brew one at home for a dollar. Question becomes: are you fully enjoying the experience of premium coffee while driving and thinking about: being late for work, why traffic is bad, the environment around you etc.
  The decision to save 4.5 cents/day could result in a million dollar plus saved over a lifetime assuming that you’re investing your money in a standard 60-40 portfolio and accounting for the returns in the past 50 years
• Remember that all choices have a long-term opportunity cost. It doesn’t meany ou need to eliminate all the fun from your life, but make smart choices. You can afford anything – just not everything.
• The 4% rule states that for a portfolio of 60-40, you can withdraw 4%, adjusted for inflation, for the next 30 years without having to worry about how well the market performs. There is a great degree of probability that you will not run out of money for 30 years. In order for this to work, it is extremely important to both ignore the stock market moves and ignore your portfolio’s value.
• Consider a portfolio composition that you’d be comfortable with regardless of the situation of the markets – eg: 90-10, and then settle for something a bit less risky – eg: 80-20. Reason is that there is a difference between how much we could tolerate of something – pain, volatility, etc, and how much we end up actually tolerating when we live through these moments before we cave in to our impulses and break the rules.
• Nobody can predict what the future will bring – including in the stock market. This is why consistency is very important: monthly contributions vs trying to time the market. Plus, if you succeed in timing the market once or twice, you might come back for more, and ultimately that’s like gambling where the house ultimately wins.
• Assigning housework for kids as young as 4 years old teach them responsibility, sense of accomplishment, and how to cooperate in social settings. Children, as they grow, can help make their own room, clean the dishes, take the dogs out on a walk, write shopping lists, fold the laundry, etc. Moreover you should limit the time that kids spend on screens – eg: no screen time allowed during weekdays and limited time allowed on weekends.
• Kids should learn about money as early as possible. They should learn the concept of saving – giving them an allowance and have them save for their purchases. This teach them delayed gratification – very important.
• “Here’s how parents can help their kids. If they ask for something (non-birthday-or non-Christmas-related), the parents shouldn’t buy it. Children should learn how to save and wait for what they want. Parents could meet them partway, paying some of the cost. But the dark side wins if parents pay the whole thing.”
• Parents should also teach their kids to spend, save and share. When a kid earns money through an allowance or a wage, they should spend a third, save a third for a later purchase, and donate a third.
• You can give an allowance to children commensurate with their age: increase it annually. You can divide the allowance into three envelopes: spend, save, and share. You should teach kids the concepts of short and long term savings: saving for a vacation or a big purchase vs saving for their post-secondary education. Offer your kids the chance to match their long-term savings and set clear rules on how long they need to keep the money in these accounts before they can access them. Children as young as 8 years can be taught this concept.
• Model smart financial planning for the kids. Show them that you budget and ask for their help. Do what you can to help them invest.
• For teenagers – and if they have not learned the concept of saving and investing early on, it is going to be more difficult to teach them but have them document their expenses for the year – trips, school expenses, food, etc. If there is a shared item, have them divide it by the number of people sharing it. Have them appreciate the concept of getting coffee 3times/week vs once a week and the power that comes with investing the savings – use a savings calculator to show them.
• “If life were a financial race, it would be more like a marathon. I began behind the start line with student loan debt. But I’ve been training all my life. Most of those who were given a free ride to the 8-mile marker haven’t trained to run. I’ll catch most of them.” His quiet confidence came from his sense of achievement. I have no doubt that he’s right. The English writer and philosopher William Hazlitt summed it up best: “Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity is a greater.”
• At a minimum, be aware of the cost of post-secondary education for your kids and contemplate- and have them do that too, the opporutnity-cost that comes with their education expenses: if a high-school grad has the choice of going to an ivy-league at 250k or another school at 86k, appreciate that the difference – a 166k, could be put into investments yielding 8% a year – turning into 4 millions by 65. Question is: would the added income resulting from attending an Ivy league school match or beat that?
• “When you pay your credit balance in full at the end of the month, explain what you’ve done and why you aren’t making minimum payments. If you have to make a minimum payment, explain why and talk about what that means. When you donate money, talk to your children about it. When you invest, explain why. You might say, “This is so I don’t have to sleep on your couch and eat your food when I get older.” Explain how you invest.”
• A big bang launch typically happens when a company with a vast amount of resources attempt to launch a networked product that mimics a competitor’s. The goal is to overwhelm the competitor’s and capitalize on the resources it has and the existing userbase in its suite of products. This is exactly what Google did with the launch of Google+. Initial numbers in terms of user growth were massive: 90+ million users joined, and at the height it was close to 300million. Google advertised Google + everywhere – search engine homepage, youtube, etc. While this attracted users, the networked lacked density. Users did not use the social network. Part of the reason is that Google+ had nothing new to offer and didn’t really offer a 10x improvement for the hard side: content creators. Some product features were also not very useful. We can conclude that adopting a bottom-up approach where you start with an atomic network – eg: college, community, etc, is better because it allows the network to be dense and for the product developers to finesse the product before it’s available to the entire addressable market. and there’s no harm at that point to put some fire behind the network growth to make the product go viral.